Another Drunk Stew!

Our chief stew had been fired, so we brought in a temp who came highly recommended. Most people spoke well of her, though a few quietly said, “Just be careful when she drinks.” We didn’t think much of it—she’d apparently been sober for a while.

Before she joined, we’d stalked her on TikTok: full-on twerking, big fake tits, lip filler—one of those loud, party-girl types. But when she arrived, she was the total opposite. Quiet, polite, professional. She did her job well, kept to herself, and got along with everyone.

One night on trip, the boss treated the whole crew to dinner. After a couple of glasses of wine, she started cracking jokes—and they were genuinely hilarious. Even the owners were in stitches. It was a great vibe. After dinner, the owners went to bed and the crew hit the bars. By the time we got to the first spot, she was wasted—sprawled across the pool table, spilling drinks, completely out of it. We got kicked out pretty quickly.

The next day, the boss gave us half a day off. She and I had overlapping breaks, so we went for lunch. We each had a beer, and she followed that up with two glasses of wine. She seemed totally fine when I left her, so I went back to the boat for a nap. I woke up to missed calls and a message from the captain: “Get over here now.” I found them at a restaurant—the captain, the chef, and the temp stew. She was absolutely gone. Head bobbing like she had no bones, hand limp in a bowl of pasta, eyes glazed. The captain turned to me and said, “The boss is leaving for dinner soon. We need to make sure she’s not seen.” So we took her to the yacht club to lay low. The captain asked me what I gave her at lunch—I said, nothing more than a beer and two wines. It didn’t add up. Later that night, we put her to bed and kept everything under wraps.

The next morning, we were due to depart at 6 a.m. She was on earlies, but no one had seen her. We figured she was hungover and slept in. The captain and I knocked on her door—no answer. We went in. The bed was empty. An empty bottle of tequila and her phone were lying there. Immediate alarm bells. We searched the entire boat—nothing. She wasn’t onboard.

We reviewed CCTV and saw her drunkenly walk off the boat around midnight. At 2 a.m., she returned, so drunk she was leaning on the shore power box to stand upright. Then she disappeared out of frame. Minutes later, security footage shows police officers with flashlights sweeping the water. At this point, we genuinely thought she had drowned. We started searching everywhere—under docks, behind fenders. Meanwhile, we were supposed to be departing.

The boss woke up and asked what was going on. We explained everything and told him we couldn’t leave until we found her. While we were checking near the dock, an ambulance drove by. We flagged it down. The captain asked, “Have you seen a big, loud American girl?” The paramedic replied instantly, “Oh yeah.” The captain followed up, “Fake lips, big tits?” The guy said, “Oh yeah, we know exactly who you’re talking about.” Apparently, she’d been found in the water. An ambulance was called, but she refused treatment. So the police were called and had to detain her—not arrest her—just to protect her from herself.

The captain and I went to the station to collect her. She came out in tears, still visibly drunk, wearing a random hoodie and said she had no idea how she got there. She apologized and claimed she "must have been sleepwalking". I nearly lost it laughing—but held it in. She had no clue we knew what we knew.

We brought her back to the boat, and she carried on like nothing happened. But of course, once we docked the next day, she was on the first flight out.